Frank Wuco
Islamist parties in Egypt, with two-thirds of the votes now tallied, will control a clear majority in Egypt's new parliament. As of this writing, the Muslim Brotherhood, using the “western-friendly” Freedom and Justice Party monicker and the unapologetically fundamentalist Nour Party, have amassed over sixty percent of votes counted thus far. Now, eh-hem “respectable” news mills, such as the Associated Press, insist in near-militant fashion that the Muslim Brotherhood is a “moderate” Islamist party and this shows a negligent misunderstanding of the Brotherhood (al-Ikwan) on behalf of a wishful media when they characterize the Brotherhood as a “moderate” party. The same media aches to portray what has been delivered to the world via the “Arab Spring” is nothing less than a liberal, secular, hippie revolution against oppressive and mean dicatators like Hosni Mubarak. So liberating and progressive was the Arab Spring, our own progressives love saying that it gave birth to the Occupy Wall Street “spontaneous” uprising. Well, yeah Arab Spring. You wishful-thinkers aint seen nothin' yet.
Give the Islamists two years in power in Egypt, Libya, and Tunisia and we will have to invent new words to describe oppression and subjugation, just as I am sure that detractors of people like me are inventing new words for “Islamophobia” and “anti-Islamic bigotry.” If the Facebooking whiz kids of Cairo thought that they were diminished and oppressed by the overbearance of the generationally evil and nasty Hosni Mubarak, whom we all thought was a-okay just a few years ago, then just wait until they get a load of the Islamists once they get a chance to show just how they feel about securlarists (psssst... those are people who think God and religion don't have much of a place at all in the public square). Just wait until all of those psuedo Gen-Y Egyptian Facebookers and their pretty girlfriends discover howtotally awesome things are going to be once the shari'ah courts and magistrates start cranking things up. Oh and I just can't wait to hear Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and Leon Panetta and, oh what the hell, John McCain for that matter, all get a load of how liberating, emancipating, and progressive life is going to be in the all new Egyptian Islamic Republic! I just can't wait to hear Barack Obama extolling the magnificence of his Arab Spring “success story” after Tarhir Square holds its first public hangings of Time Magazine cover-gracing Tweeters for demanding liberation from Islamic oppression (which would be “apostasy” in any decent shar'iah court, by the way... punishable by death, no questions or appeals).
Oh, the secular parties and their American progressive political, financial, and media sponsors are going to have a wonderfully liberating time explaining to the Muslim Brotherhood and Nour Party how things like humanist-secular progressivism, and democratic institutions and all of these man-made laws should have primacy over all of that Goddy and Religiony stuff. Yeah, 'cuz in an Islamic society, which maintains that 1,400 years ago God Himself delivered all of the laws and prescriptions that all humans until the end-of-timeswill ever need, is going to be “open” to all kinds of neat securlarist progressive philosophy on how really smart people can do better than God on most of this governing and progress stuff. Ooooooh... it's going to be so much fun to watch! I bet Obama's gonna give some speeches and all of those religiony gun-clingers in Egypt are going to forget all of that old, Islamy stuff at the first note of his silky smooth voice breaking his meaningfully pursed lips (especially the way he does it with his head tipped slightly back so that he stares down his nose at the whole world), coupled with the obvious wisdom of super-smart progressives, and he alone shall transform Egypt into the Arab Spring that he and his running mate, John McCain said this was all going to be in the first place. Or, more likely, he'll just blame the Muslim religiony gun-clingers for screwing up the Tarhirsky Revolution and return his bedroom eyes to the Occupy Wall Street Bolsheviks. Super easy.
Well, before you think that I've just gone all anti-Obama (a near constant for me, I confess) and I get to yammering on about how John McCain, all deferrence to his being a former POW and such, does not know what in the hell he's talking about, even though I give him max cred for learning the difference between Sunni and Shi'a Muslims and all, stand by. I could even go on a Good Morning America Tom Cruise like squeal, “You haven't studied Islam! I have, Matt! I DO MY OWN STUNTS!” Well, I have studied Islam and quite a bit of it. Tune in at 2 PM EST today on AM 970 WFLA. Stream live at 970wfla.com or listen nation wide, using the iHeartRadio app on your smartphone. My special guest, the official jihadist of the Frank Wuco Radio Show, Fuad Wasul, will make clear the victory for Islam the Arab Spring has become. Tune in.
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